There really isn't too much European that I would hold up as shining examples of culture to the rest of the world. Of course it goes without saying that the National Health Service is the jewel in the crown of the Empire but I would also ask you to consider the British Standards Authority whose work has make the life of generations just a little easier.
When I first came to this country I must confess to a certain degree of bemusement as to how hard you made life for yourselves. Take plumbing for example. Now in Europe a fitting is a fitting, you want a P trap, then go and buy one. Yet in the good old US of I have never been able to complete a plumbing job without multiple visits to the Homo Despot. I have lost count of the times that I have carted a complete bath behind me in order to purchase the necessary 3/4 fine tread to 5/8 coarse reducer with a left hand thread to adapt a Kohler faucet to a Standard trap.
As another example let us consider towing hitches and balls. In Europe the ball is 50 mm (or 2 inches to you). Now I don't care what size our balls are but for the love of God make the bastards the same size. I have three trailers and I have three different size hitches, so pray tell me if you can, who the intercourse does this benefit? Certainly not me, in fact I run the risk of, in a moments inattention, of connecting my 2 inch trailer to my 1 7/8 hitch and sending $8000 worth of ATVs hurtling across I581 at 65mph.
You think I exaggerate? Let us consider ammunition. Now you people invented guns and bullets and all that stuff so you would think it would be all so simple and yet....... A 22 calibre mini mag will fit into my PD351 and it will fire and the case will jam in the revolver because it is too small so when you fire it the case splits and makes me cry. I can successfully use a 22 long rifle round but if I am stupid enough to use a long rifle round in my long rifle it falls out of the magazine because the rifle needs a 22 magnum round. It's a 22 calibre round for Christ's sake, the damn thing is supposed to be 0.22 of an inch in diameter, not 0.221 (minimag) or 0.222 (LR) or 0.223 (Magnum).
So it came to pass that I was finally ready to re-upholster the cart seats. Everything was set except that I had run out of staples. Two staple guns and a packet of staples that were clearly not designed to go in either. Bearing in mind everything I have said above and having learned my lesson (537 times) I carefully read on the side of the gun "Use Stanley 3/8 staples or Arrow 3/8 only". Off I troll to our local Lowes and buy my box of 3/8 Arrow staples and I get home and they don't fit. The damned worthless stinking staples don't damn well fit. Now do you get my point? Arrow make wide crown staples and do you know why? So that you and I give up and buy a gun with staples included. Well it didn't work once I realized that you can't hammer staples into particle board I made another trip to Lowes and with my blood pressure at 240 / 120 and my staple gun in hand I ripped open boxes until I found staples that physically fitted into the gun.
People of America I wave my genitals in your face until you form a National Standards Authority with the power to stop the nonsense. Oh and by the way steady as you go in aisle 13 there are staples everywhere.
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